visit from lulu and then Lani outside Painting Pottery Cafe, North Road, Brighton - new Whale mural
Sunday, 25 November 2012
Saturday, 24 November 2012
Saturday morning musing on 'hands free parenting'
Right so its 8.30am and I've got my coffee by my side, Lani is watching Mike the knight and I'm having a few moments in bed with my laptop before I get on with my day. Last Sunday was worth the trip over to Hanover to take part in Big Sunday at the Brighton Youth Centre. I put Kalani in their creche and sped around to the following workshops : Printmaking, organisational skills for busy mums, and then enjoyed being pampered in the treatment room by uniquely you spa for my nails and a massage from lovely Lucy who works at Anahata in Brighton. I squeezed in a healthy lunch (ever tried a beetroot pasty?) up in their canteen where the creche was and where you could just chill by letting your kid play and sit back on a comfy sofa. I also met a girl on the stairs who was doing a workshop on blogging whom i have to follow up with an email - she has some amazing ways to get your blog 'out there' and make it pretty. I'm hoping they do another Big Sunday soon, you can find it if you look at http://www.facebook.com/events/281584505278979/
This week I started my new job at Flaming Fun, an Entertainment Agency. I've been learning how their system works by booking aerial artistes, fire shows and even had a call about some Dwarves yesterday from a my glamour puss friend Jacqui Partridge of Partridge Events - apparently dwarves are hard to come by this time of year, they all get booked up for Panto's and so it's unlikely i'll find one fr her but i will try. Its not great pay but i figure its primarily A JOB and it's local, there's free parking, its a fun business - my day is never predictable and as my new bosses are a couple with a 2 year daughter they 'get it' when it comes to childcare, parenting and juggling that with work. I was happy to see the end of my working week on Thursday afternoon though and get back to my little boy who had been almost four full days in nursery / with a sitter at home without me. It's still tough balancing my time on the laptop/phone and spending facetime with my son. I manage to give him all i can......or do i ? I ask myself I could always give more. Which brings me to the topic of this week's blog.... My badass French American girl friend, Nancy Knezvic is giving a lecture in Washington on something like : "Iphone, Ipad, I failed at mothering: the real danger behind giving your child too much screentime"
I wholeheartedly agree with her and don't even need to look at the numerable studies she has cited to support her theory of the damage too much screentime has on children as it's a no brainer of course using a screen as a sitter is not acceptable but is it totally avoidable? In my case no , unfortunately, to get a little peace, work, do housework, write this blog I do have to rely on at least the telly to occupy him. I mentioned this worry to my friend Louise Lawrence who recommended a wholesome blog called http://www.handsfreemama.com/ I had a look and really liked her approach to being a mum (she has two daughters) and how she had changed since they were first born and she was too manic to "smell the roses". I related to that as I've found myself more 'behind the camera' than in front, snapping away trying to record my son's early life rather than 'be' in it with him. But Nancy my wise and no bullshit friend and mother of 3 warns me "NO GUILT" Annabel, absorb him be with him but be who you are and throw away anything or anyone that makes you feel guilty or bad. I so think I give myself a hard time perhaps we all do about just how much i am giving to my son or what I could do better. Don't get me wrong I think a healthy amount of self monitoring is good but not letting myself get weighed down by self criticism is a fine line to tread and I'm assuming I"m not alone in this. I just love Nancy's 'take no fucking prisoners' attitude and wish she would write a book ! However she is too busy writing her thesis, lecturing in the US and bringing up 3 kids in rural France whilst doctoring Hollywood scripts and loving her man.....which I'm sure is not without it's daily challenges.
I did consciously think I need some one on one time with kalani after my week at work so Friday morning I found this http://www.kimbalu.co.uk/classesfaq.html a music and singing class/group over in Southwick on a Friday morning, first class was free and downstairs is a playroom and free parking (not IN the playroom outside of course it's at Southwick Community Church!!). Lani was all over the playroom so much he didn't want to join the class at 11am....But once we got started he did take part and we enjoyed singing together. ooops he's here now needing mummy time. Today we're going to the Xmas fair at the Dome cafe in Brighton....apparently they will have a xmas themed photo booth complete with naff xmassy jumpers to wear !!! that'll be our xmas card for this year !!
This week I started my new job at Flaming Fun, an Entertainment Agency. I've been learning how their system works by booking aerial artistes, fire shows and even had a call about some Dwarves yesterday from a my glamour puss friend Jacqui Partridge of Partridge Events - apparently dwarves are hard to come by this time of year, they all get booked up for Panto's and so it's unlikely i'll find one fr her but i will try. Its not great pay but i figure its primarily A JOB and it's local, there's free parking, its a fun business - my day is never predictable and as my new bosses are a couple with a 2 year daughter they 'get it' when it comes to childcare, parenting and juggling that with work. I was happy to see the end of my working week on Thursday afternoon though and get back to my little boy who had been almost four full days in nursery / with a sitter at home without me. It's still tough balancing my time on the laptop/phone and spending facetime with my son. I manage to give him all i can......or do i ? I ask myself I could always give more. Which brings me to the topic of this week's blog.... My badass French American girl friend, Nancy Knezvic is giving a lecture in Washington on something like : "Iphone, Ipad, I failed at mothering: the real danger behind giving your child too much screentime"
I wholeheartedly agree with her and don't even need to look at the numerable studies she has cited to support her theory of the damage too much screentime has on children as it's a no brainer of course using a screen as a sitter is not acceptable but is it totally avoidable? In my case no , unfortunately, to get a little peace, work, do housework, write this blog I do have to rely on at least the telly to occupy him. I mentioned this worry to my friend Louise Lawrence who recommended a wholesome blog called http://www.handsfreemama.com/ I had a look and really liked her approach to being a mum (she has two daughters) and how she had changed since they were first born and she was too manic to "smell the roses". I related to that as I've found myself more 'behind the camera' than in front, snapping away trying to record my son's early life rather than 'be' in it with him. But Nancy my wise and no bullshit friend and mother of 3 warns me "NO GUILT" Annabel, absorb him be with him but be who you are and throw away anything or anyone that makes you feel guilty or bad. I so think I give myself a hard time perhaps we all do about just how much i am giving to my son or what I could do better. Don't get me wrong I think a healthy amount of self monitoring is good but not letting myself get weighed down by self criticism is a fine line to tread and I'm assuming I"m not alone in this. I just love Nancy's 'take no fucking prisoners' attitude and wish she would write a book ! However she is too busy writing her thesis, lecturing in the US and bringing up 3 kids in rural France whilst doctoring Hollywood scripts and loving her man.....which I'm sure is not without it's daily challenges.
I did consciously think I need some one on one time with kalani after my week at work so Friday morning I found this http://www.kimbalu.co.uk/classesfaq.html a music and singing class/group over in Southwick on a Friday morning, first class was free and downstairs is a playroom and free parking (not IN the playroom outside of course it's at Southwick Community Church!!). Lani was all over the playroom so much he didn't want to join the class at 11am....But once we got started he did take part and we enjoyed singing together. ooops he's here now needing mummy time. Today we're going to the Xmas fair at the Dome cafe in Brighton....apparently they will have a xmas themed photo booth complete with naff xmassy jumpers to wear !!! that'll be our xmas card for this year !!
Saturday, 17 November 2012
Our first wkd alone, me and Lani
So I'm drinking my latest blend (Brazilian) Small Batch coffee in bed, it's 7.52 am and we've been awake since 6.30 ish...it's just me and my nearly 2 year old son at home now. His daddy has gone home to NZ for a spell. After a 34 hour journey he landed safely yesterday and we've Fbkd since then he's with his family who are very pleased to see him . It has been a relief actually to just be alone with my son and yes at night I light the place up like xmas as I'm not used to being here alone but other than that I'm enjoying the peace of a conflict free zone. It's Saturday morning in case you didn't notice and we've got a jam packed wkd ahead, I purposefully booked in alot of things to do so I won't get bored or lonely. Today we going to town and later tonite i have a 30th birthday party to attend. Tomorrow is http://www.facebook.com/events/281584505278979/ Big Sunday up in Edward st, a day of pampering for mothers in Brighton. I can't wait. Then at 3pm we are going to painting pottery cafe in North st to take part in a Fundraiser for Echo a charity that helps children with heart problems.
Right now the little man is sitting on my lap fiddling with my cables and has a full nappy and a snotty nose so i will have to attend to him. i'll post photos of wkd fun
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Kalani tried on some funky 3 d glasses
Halloween spooky fun
Oscar (on right of centre) won a kilo of sweets for his costume at Shoreham Rollerdisco on Oct 31st
My Birthday cards deserve a mention love the starlings.....
Lani in his startrite boots and halloween hand knit jumper from "grannies who knit"
Found this ad for pyjama drama, Kalani will be signing up...
Oscar selling his plastic toys at Stoneham park...he made £9, well done depsite the cold and not many kids around...
The French boys made some spooky biscuits courtesy of "Open Art Cafe Rottingdean"
The sometime 'happy' couple...
And last but not least my beautiful Chocolate cake made by "Sugardough" Kingsway, Hove, flourless and DEEELISSSHOUS
Friday, 9 November 2012
Friday
So it's the end of a busy week. I've had my sister and 3 French almost teenagers staying on and off. They have been glued to their DS's and giggling up until 11pm at night with the ipad, god knows what they're watching/playing. My sister managed to get them to read Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain for half an hour in the morning until it's time for breakfast/another trip to Sainsburys.
Kalani has enjoyed their stay so much, you can see the little cogs going in his facial expressions as he learns sooo much from them. He says all their names, Tarka, Oscar, Caeser and gives them kisses one after the other. We will miss them. One highlight was selling Oscar's plastic figuerines/pokemon and dinosaurs at Stoneham park on a cold Weds morning...they made £9 in all which was great, such good little entrepreneurs.
kalani also managed to sit on his potty in front of the TV this morning and I couldn't believe it but he actually used it !!! so we are on our way with potty training (he's still only 23 months but i'm guessing it's time).
I took him to "Pop of the tots" this week at the Holland Road Church in Hove, monday 9am til 9.30am or 10am til 10.30am (busier class) and he loves it there , so glad we made the effort to get back to doing that. I've also got onto to a waiting list for "Aardvarks" at Westoes for Tuesdays 9.45am or 10.45am for a children's music class that is run by a charming American lady Emily. Can't wait to try it.
I'm still looking for work to compliment our lives and let me stay home with Lani, nothing yet but i have my feelers out there. It is hard at times as I don't want to lose touch with the world of 'work' and never get back in but i also want to absorb my son and enjoy him every moment. I do have a problem with being stuck to my laptop though and my phone which i have to put down every now and then and 'be in the moment' with my son. V funny link to this very subject on the Guardian this morning :
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/video/2012/nov/08/david-mitchell-soapbox-living-moment-video
i remember watching Mulholland Drive and feeling v confused at the end and wanting to know why the hell there actually wasn't an ending it just stopped....so thus ruining the the enjoyment of the film in hindsight. i hope that in my own life all this leads to something worthwhile as sometimes the actual being in moment can be excruciating. what with losing my job, my baby daddy leaving next week, not getting on or not speaking to various members of my close family and friends and most of all still mourning the death of my sister. All this and more helps to give me anxiety on a daily basis. This was alleviated somewhat last night by enjoying the malaise of a twentysomething graduate in "Tiny Furniture", Lena Dunham is the new voice of this younger generation who have really not much to look forward to. But they seem to do a pretty good job of making sense of their own world/friendships and what they want to do with themselves that i applaud her for her insightful portrayal of her not always perfect life (albeit from very priviledged bohemian successful New York upper east side).
TV always saves us mothers from the brink !!!!
Kalani has enjoyed their stay so much, you can see the little cogs going in his facial expressions as he learns sooo much from them. He says all their names, Tarka, Oscar, Caeser and gives them kisses one after the other. We will miss them. One highlight was selling Oscar's plastic figuerines/pokemon and dinosaurs at Stoneham park on a cold Weds morning...they made £9 in all which was great, such good little entrepreneurs.
kalani also managed to sit on his potty in front of the TV this morning and I couldn't believe it but he actually used it !!! so we are on our way with potty training (he's still only 23 months but i'm guessing it's time).
I took him to "Pop of the tots" this week at the Holland Road Church in Hove, monday 9am til 9.30am or 10am til 10.30am (busier class) and he loves it there , so glad we made the effort to get back to doing that. I've also got onto to a waiting list for "Aardvarks" at Westoes for Tuesdays 9.45am or 10.45am for a children's music class that is run by a charming American lady Emily. Can't wait to try it.
I'm still looking for work to compliment our lives and let me stay home with Lani, nothing yet but i have my feelers out there. It is hard at times as I don't want to lose touch with the world of 'work' and never get back in but i also want to absorb my son and enjoy him every moment. I do have a problem with being stuck to my laptop though and my phone which i have to put down every now and then and 'be in the moment' with my son. V funny link to this very subject on the Guardian this morning :
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/video/2012/nov/08/david-mitchell-soapbox-living-moment-video
i remember watching Mulholland Drive and feeling v confused at the end and wanting to know why the hell there actually wasn't an ending it just stopped....so thus ruining the the enjoyment of the film in hindsight. i hope that in my own life all this leads to something worthwhile as sometimes the actual being in moment can be excruciating. what with losing my job, my baby daddy leaving next week, not getting on or not speaking to various members of my close family and friends and most of all still mourning the death of my sister. All this and more helps to give me anxiety on a daily basis. This was alleviated somewhat last night by enjoying the malaise of a twentysomething graduate in "Tiny Furniture", Lena Dunham is the new voice of this younger generation who have really not much to look forward to. But they seem to do a pretty good job of making sense of their own world/friendships and what they want to do with themselves that i applaud her for her insightful portrayal of her not always perfect life (albeit from very priviledged bohemian successful New York upper east side).
TV always saves us mothers from the brink !!!!
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
half term half lost
So the last few months have been mental. My job in London did not renew my contract, in fact they took a whole other company on instead :( I then dived straight into taking on a franchise for a Cafe in Brighton which did not work out. So life has been full of ups and downs lately. I also moved house and now live further into West Hove which is much better in lots of ways. Right now I'm taking stock and just giving myself some time to think about the next move and chewing my nails off in the process....stressful but I do also have a good sense of freedom and opportunity that I want to take advantage of.
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