Winter fun: Birthday, visit to Shoreditch and other xmas thoughts

So it's that time of year again and wow have we been busy we;v ehad Kalani's Second birthday on 12th Dec we celebrated with a Pinata, prosecco and alot of prezzies and cute friends like Conan above and Charlie and lani's cousins...lots of mummy's friends and fam too, phew it was a success ( i think) I ordered and picked up the  caterpiller party sandwiches from M&S, prosecco from Sainsburys, got his haircut at bertie and belles all by 2pm. Next year am going to OUTSOURCE his party i.e go to WESTOWS or ZT doing a party at home was VERY hard work...and tiring. but worth it for lani's face when he saw his sparkler candle on his topsy turvy cake made by my big bro Olly.

 Today was my sister Aimee's memorial for her husband Mark who she lost last year. We popped over to her lovely cafe Open Art in Rottingdean which welcomed us with the smell of mulled wine and mince pies, we made a couple of little mosaics ate some delish homemade soup (tomato, chilli and cocoanut). Then we drove to Kalani's Xmas party at his nursery. We got there late but in time for Lani to meet Santa.
At the wkd we caught the train up to Union st nr Old St to stay with Lani's Godfather Dean. We visited  Shoreditch....lani got a new coat from the lovely shop in Camden Passage "Felix and Lily"and lucky he wasn't wearing it when he vomited all over himself...and again on the train home. We also made the mistake of going to Winter Wonderland in Hyde park.....anyone thinking of going...don't , its horrible.

One thing I did enjoy was my brunch at Shoreditch house (next time am bringing my swimming things - the steamy pool in the winter sunshine looked inviting). Eggs benedict and a large latte with a view over East london and the fruit and veg markets down below. I suggested we have a go on the Boris Bikes but my companion almost spat out his fry up...noooo you wouldn't see me on one of those....oops sorry i spoke...

I think tensions are running high with xmas looming. what have we achieved this year? I lost my job, my sister, my brother in law, my cat , moved again, my relationship broke down. i think thats enough for now. I want to have a fresh start in the new year , i found a new part time job, i have gained several new friends , i've gained a healthy respect for my ability to pick myself up, brush myself off and have another go. My son is my treasure and i'm so happy i have him. I have friends who have also lost this year. My thoughts are of my sister Gabrielle who i miss terribly and am still having counselling for the loss and grief and who was with me last xmas I am just going to try and enjoy what little i can....to ease my pain i lose myself into television or crap on the internet. I like "48 hours mystery"..."I survived"....that kind of mind numbing but shocking (well mildly anyway) television I drift away from reality and into CBS reality---mmmm a much better place , it's so nostalgic and 90s  with it's out of date hair and awkward people. I get a sense of comfortable numbness....Dean showed me this wonderful "under an arch" East London pop up shop with fabulous furs and rare groove music blasting out...i so wanted the white fox jacket but i don't think i could carry that off in West Hove...maybe if i lived in Hoxton....I actually didn't Buy Anything which was amazing.

 I did shop online for 4 books ( thats progress believe me with my shopping addiction spiralling out of control). I got Oscar Wilde children's stories illustrated by P J Lynch beautifully, the Selfish Giant, The Velveteen Rabbit, The Little Prince - I already have Jumping Mouse so now my collection is complete of my favourite childhood stories.
So being addicted to DM Showbiz i notice Drew Barrymore has her "happy ending", as they call it (not to be confused with the personal masseuse kind you might find in Soho) No Drew is happily married and has a daughter, named Olive we are told and yes i for one read this kind of information every day on line. Good for her i cheer...not only is she fabulously wealthy, beautiful, has a career she has now added to this and has a v rich husband and a baby. I wonder if any of these people experience feelings inadequacy or loss... we are told   she is happy to carry her baby weight for more than a week after birth which is "news" in Hollywood...They keep showing Elizabeth Berkeley,  " a first time mum at 40!" they exclaim underneath an unflattering bum shot - she has refused to diet they say (or she doesn't give a fuck)  she looks more like a mum from around here (well not quite even here the mums are rail thin yoga freaks) but seeing Elizabeth (Showgirls) looking like she actually just had a baby is comforting for those of us who haven't bounced back into our skinny jeans aka yours truly. I'll do it when I'm ready...the mince pies, pizza and birthday cake are still the staple foods in my diet right now.

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On a more serious note from America,  we had to digest the Dreadfully Shocking news : Sandy Hook. Reading Charlie Brooker in the Guardian i totally agreed with him, i felt very shocked when i saw the news, how must those parents have felt as they ran to the school to find out if their child had been shot.An unreal scenario that we cannot imagine. Being a parent we empathise more deeply with these poor now lost souls ;the parents,  the childless are lucky to live in a 'bubble' immune to such pain immune to the worry and fear we carry with the weight and responsibility which comes hand in hand with the joys of parenthood.
But i want to end this post on a positive note, it is Christmas after all, Kalani and I cannot wait until Xmas eve when we get to see the new Raymond Briggs, The Snowman and his Snowdog....i don't care what Radio 4 says about remakes being a waste of money as they prevent new films from being made, I think nostalgia is good for us, in fact I'd go so far as to say I prefer nostalgic revellry to new stuff right now. I for one will be recording it as i'll be out at a drinks party in Hove ( i finally have a social life...am even out tomorrow night too - Lion and Lobster...woo hoo) and no i won't be leaving my son in a dog cage, he went in there willingly, i swear !

So eat drink and be merry (at least no one is watching and waiting to pap me and my size 14 bum in my lycra pants).....